


maps

by manzana



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, lots of kissing though, touching through clothes but pretty innocent other than that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 05:51:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3238673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manzana/pseuds/manzana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sousuke is a pioneer, rin is beautiful and unchartered  </p><p> </p><p>written for day 1 of sourinweek [firsts]</p>
            </blockquote>





	maps

**Author's Note:**

> my contribution to [sourinweek](http://sourinweek.tumblr.com/) day 1: firsts
> 
> cross-posted from [my tumblr](http://princessbubblgum.tumblr.com/post/109246989189)

Sousuke confesses to Rin that he loves him in a way that is quiet and gentle and casual, appropriately befitting for the confessor. They're on the bottom bed of their shared bunk -- on Rin's bed, technically, although Sousuke had fallen asleep there enough times that a label of distinction had been long since rendered pointless. Like almost everything owned between them it was a shared space; finding either or both of them stretched upon it at any given time was nothing out of the ordinary.

 

Their backs are to the wall their bed is pushed up against, Sousuke's legs stretching long enough to dangle his feet off the edge of the mattress, Rin's own legs curled close to him. A heat permeates between them where their thighs are pressed up against each other, and Rin has one of Sousuke's large hands open between his own, playing with it, drawing circles and patterns on it with his index finger while Sousuke smiles around his whispered words and Rin laughs softly to himself. 

 

While they'd always been physical with one another, the level of affection that tempered their now constant touching was distinct. When their relationship had evolved to a point where this had become the new norm was unclear; it just sort of happened naturally: Sousuke leaving a hand on the small of Rin's back for far too long, Rin sitting close and leaning into Sousuke's space like it belonged to him, Sousuke's fingers finding the ends of Rin's hair and idly toying with them without thinking much of it, and this -- Rin touching his hands like they demanded attention -- it was all done without any formal announcement, without any sudden discernible change.

 

Sousuke likes this too much, likes the easiness between them and the way this casual affection had slipped its way between them, likes it so much that he's been afraid to draw attention to it in fear that it might end. He doesn't know if it affects Rin nearly as much as it affects him, but every place their bodies connect whenever they _do_ touch sends electric currents through him that warm his whole being, warm his entire world, bathe it in brilliant light to where it's almost dizzying

 

Which is why it's so easy and natural for him to blurt the words, like they'd been eager to leave his lips, a nervous diver on the edge of a cliff -- he doesn't want to ruin this, but how much he loves this is a feeling so much stronger and compelling enough for his mouth to move and his calm low voice to mutter,

 

"I like you, Rin"

 

as if it were nothing, as if it wasn't a secret harbored for at least a decade, as if the notion didn't constantly stir and nag at his heart every waking moment of the day.

 

Rin stills the movements of his fingers in the palm of Sousuke's hand before answering, and, in those few tense quiet seconds, Sousuke fears for the worst. After what feels like forever, Rin's hand moves again, smoothing its palm flush against Sousuke's and lacing their fingers together, squeezing gently before muttering, "I know."

 

The response is dubious enough for Sousuke not to be sure what to make of it, but he is content enough at least that the touching hadn't stopped, so he says nothing further in fear of jinxing it. And then Rin's thumb start rubbing against the back of his hand in a manner that is coaxing and calming, and he continues, "me...me too. About you, I mean,"

 

Sousuke wants to say "I know" as well, because some part of him did, how could he have been so afraid when some part of him always knew, but maybe he was confusing "knowing" with "hoping," and anyway, Rin had always been better at this confidence thing anyway. He couldn't pull off a line like that quite as smooth as he had.

 

So he just smiles, soft and gentle, even though Rin isn't looking at him, can't see it for himself.

 

They're going to kiss, Sousuke knows. He can read it in the atmosphere, and anyway there'd been too much eagerness in the physicality between them leading up to this for it not to escalate once the threshold of confessed feelings had been crossed. More than that, though, Rin once indirectly admitted to him how badly he'd liked to be kissed after a love confession. The desire had been revealed to him in confidence and had occurred after they witnessed that very thing happen in some drama they'd been too lazy to change from on their TV. Rin hadn't said all those words exactly but after it happened in the show, he'd sighed a little wistfully, trying to be subtle and likely hoping Sousuke wouldn't notice. 

 

Sousuke had sneered at the time, bothered to say aloud, "I bet you wish that was you."

 

Predictably enough, Rin had taken the bait, had snapped at him, "shut up!" Then, in a much quieter voice: "there's nothing wrong with wanting something like that, anyway. Don't make it sound like a crime."

 

All that 'first kiss for someone special' silliness and the romantic notions that accompanied it was never something that made sense or mattered much to Sousuke. He'd yet to kiss anyone himself personally, but it had nothing to do with that. Perhaps if he did not have such a one-track heart he may have kissed dozens of people by now. There were certainly a number that were willing, but he'd denied them all, if only because he just plain had no interest. Nobody had ever interested him like Rin, no had interested him since Rin, and he imagines that if he ever got over Rin, that would probably be the end of all romantic endeavors for him. Kissing anyone else was so out of his realm of understanding that it just never happened. 

 

So it was more a matter that he didn't care enough about kissing in general that kept him from doing it, less that he was 'saving it', less that he thought the act alone was special in any way. 

 

He knows this is not the case for Rin, though. For Rin, every romantic cliche is a big deal.

 

Sousuke wants to give it to him, then, wants to give it to him well and in a way that would be memorable for him, because he knows this sort of inconsequential nonsense mattered to him. He mulls it over in his head while the two sit in silence, although, of course, this wouldn't be the first time he'd imagined kissing Rin. He'd been living him for far too long now, had to coexist with that mouth for enough time to wonder how it'd feel against his own, had woken up too early from too many dreams where their lips were inches away from meeting. Being presented with the opportunity now was a bit overwhelming to say the least, and he was nervous, understandably so.

 

He thinks he might like to just ask him. That would be polite right? Polite and sweet. That'd probably drive Rin wild, make him fall for him just a little bit more.

 

And so he opens his mouth, gets as far as, "Rin, can I -- "

 

But Rin is a step ahead of him, leans up against his side, cranes his neck just slightly, and presses his lips against Sousuke's.

 

Sousuke blinks at this, a bit too surprised to react immediately. Rin pulls away a little before Sousuke's brain catches up to him, stares up at him with a embarrassed pouty frown. Sousuke can see the red dusting his cheeks, and it's only then that the bell starts going off in his head because _oh my god that's for me._

 

"Sorry," Rin mumbles. "Was that okay? Should've asked"

 

"No, no, um," Sousuke stammers, still reeling. He can hear his own breathing pick up and _oh, god Rin had his mouth on me and I was too fucking stunned to appreciate it, oh my fucking god._  

 

"It was fine," he goes on, collecting himself, "totally fine. More than fine. I -- "

 

Then Rin presses up against him again, shuts up him up completely and Sousuke allots himself only a few seconds of shock this time before mentally slapping himself and forcing himself to focus. He wants to touch Rin, and so he moves his hand to grip his face but Rin beats him to that too, draws his available hand, the one that isn't still holding onto Sousuke's hand, and pulls him closer by the back of his neck. Sousuke's own hangs uselessly midair until he moves it to brush gently at the front of Rin's shirt. He clenches his fingers and grips him there, tugs insistently and meaningfully until they break the kiss briefly enough for Rin to change position, to move so that he's closer and now sitting in front of Sousuke, not quite in his lap but with his legs hanging over his hips, Sousuke hands lacing at the small of his back to draw him even the slightest bit closer.

 

They stay like that for awhile, kissing slow and soft and languidly, the room filled the with sounds of their lips smacking and sliding against each other, their sighs and hushed pleased little moans. Sousuke hasn't the faintest clue if he's doing this right, if he's being too grabby with his hands or if he's moving his mouth right, and the idea that he could be fucking up dawns on him once in awhile, but he quiets the thoughts immediately when he pulls away to breathe at one point, and Rin, making a disapproving little noise at that decision, closes the distance with a nip at his bottom lip.

 

This should be weird maybe, kissing your best friend. They were kids together at one point, they used to build rocket ships out of cardboard boxes and pretend they were going fight space invaders, they used to have sleepovers in blanket forts and play on the jungle gym at the playground together. But somehow it isn't weird. It feels natural, as natural as when they bump fists or nudge each other with their knees or brush shoulders when they walk too close to each other, and he thinks maybe a whole life of friendship with this boy was leading to this eventuality.

 

They've been kissing for what feels like probably an eternity before Rin draws back -- Sousuke wants too chide him, "oh no you don't. I get bit when I decide to take a breather, but you can stop whenever you want? Not fair." -- but Rin is sitting back and looking at him with this coy little grin and his face flushed and his lips swollen and shiny and he looks so ridiculously beautiful that Sousuke has temporarily forgotten how to speak.

 

Rin suddenly laughs, softly and against the side of his hand, peeking up at Sousuke in a way that signifies this laugh is clearly at his expense. Sousuke grins, tilts his head, has to know, "what?" When Rin doesn't answer at first, only laughs more, Sousuke reaches out a hand, gently pinches Rin by the cheek and tugs. 

 

"Hey. What is it? No, _stop giggling_ , asshole, _tell_ me."

 

"You just looked so stunned," Rin finally says as his laughter starts to subside. "Like, flummoxed. It was funny. I wish I'd taken a picture."

 

Sousuke offers a chuckle at that, not to share in the joke -- because it was true, he _was_ stunned, he's always stunned by Rin -- but because he's so amazingly fond of this boy in in his lap. 

 

"Can you blame me?" he says in a low voice, leaning forward and pressing their foreheads. "You are stunning."

 

This close he can watch the little details on Rin's face as his expression changes just the slightest bit, the way his cheeks deepen in color, the way his grin falters in surprise at the sudden praise, the way his eyes widen and roam across Sousuke's face where it's so close in proximity to him now. In a blink, the flustered face is gone, and then he's smirking again, softer and a bit lazy but cocky all the same.

 

"That good, huh? Really knocked your socks off, didn't I? Best you've ever had?"

 

"Well." Sousuke shrugs. "I haven't much to compare it to, but I'd say it was pretty nice."

 

He feels Rin freeze everywhere where his body touches him.

 

"What do you mean," Rin asks suddenly, his voice cold.

 

"Hm?"

 

"'Not much to compare it to.' What do you mean."

 

Sousuke is alarmed by how serious he suddenly sounds. It gives him pause, makes him frown, but he answers all the same. "I've never kissed anyone before you."

 

At this Rin leans far away from him, staring at him like he's waiting for him to own up to a lie. When Sousuke doesn't satisfy whatever disbelief he wears, Rin frowns too, mutters in an awed tone, "...you _haven't_?"

 

Sousuke shakes his head, feeling oddly guilty for answering so honestly. "No."

 

"Why _not_?" Rin sounds offended now, almost accusatory. "You're…you're _you_. How is that possible?"

 

"I didn't really want to kiss anyone else, I guess."

 

Rin's frown disappears, or at least it changes, no longer angry, now confused. He's blinking, comprehending his words, staring beyond Sousuke at the wall behind him now. And then his eyebrows relax, his gaze drops down to stare at Sousuke's torso, and in a soft voice, he simply says, "oh," and leaves it at that.

 

Sousuke has always prided himself on his ability to read Rin so plainly and clearly, not because of any transparency on Rin's end but only because of their closeness, but he was blanking here. He couldn't for the life of him understand what he'd done wrong.

 

 _Are you mad_ , he wants to ask. Or, _have I upset you?_ But none of those make it out of his mouth because a more pressing thought suddenly occurs to him and he utters that first.

 

"What…what about you?"

 

Rin visibly flinches, enough for Sousuke to notice it, but he tries to shrug it off and make the words sound as casual as he can

 

"Well. Yeah. I have."

 

"Ah."

 

"Yeah, sorry," Rin shrugs. Despite his nonchalance he avoids looking Sousuke in the eye.

 

Sousuke is quick to try and smooth his guilt away, uses both his hands to hold Rin's hand between them. "No need to be sorry. It's not like..."

 

_Like you had to save it for me. Like you knew. Like I should have expected any of that. I should have told you sooner._

 

"It's fine. Really"

 

It honestly didn't bother him that he wasn't Rin's first kiss -- kisses were so trivial in the grand scheme of things, so small thing, and it really didn't matter except that he got to kiss him now. It was more surprising that Rin had done it and wasn't with that person now. He always thought of Rin as the boy with a weird sense of dedication to silly romantic ideas, to notions of destiny and soul mates, placing a heavy importance on saving things like first kisses for special people. His worry now stems from the thought that Rin gave his heart to someone else and then they threw it back at him. He'd been hoping to give it to him properly because he knew how big of a deal it was to Rin, but now he was at least hoping that whoever did it had at least done it justice.

 

Or maybe Rin thought as little of first kisses as he did. Sousuke shouldn't have assumed that this wasn't the case. It was ridiculous of him. Rin was a young guy. Of course he'd done something like this. That was comforting, somewhat. It made Sousuke feel a little less self-conscious of their last few minutes together, but at the same time -- did he really not know Rin as well as he liked to think he did? It was a strange idea.

 

Rin says nothing more and refuses to look at Sousuke again, and when Sousuke reaches out a hand to brush hair out of his face, he shakes his head gently and Sousuke draws his hand back. Rin removes his legs too, scoots back a bit to draw them to himself and hug them to his body.

 

"It's not a big deal, Rin," Sousuke tries again. He wants so badly to touch him, but Rin looks fragile right now and Sousuke is afraid.

 

Rin shrugs again. "No, I guess not."

 

"It's just a kiss. We're doing it now, so who cares who you've done it with before?" Sousuke leans over, tries to peek up at Rin under his bangs. "Don't feel bad, okay? I still like you."

 

"I don't -- I mean. Yeah, it's. I dunno. Whatever."

 

Sousuke, patient as ever when it came to Rin, waits. In silence they sit, Sousuke waiting and willing to wait as long as is necessary until Rin is ready for whatever is next. His body is buzzing with need, going through the withdrawals of not having Rin closer to him. He'd gotten much too addicted to constant physical contact and even the few inches of distance now was maddening, but he waits anyway, drawing patterns in Rin's bedsheets and just hoping Rin doesn't kick him out and back to his own bunk for the rest of the night.

 

After what feels like a lifetime, Rin relaxes his hold on his legs, lets the one nearest Sousuke slacken just slightly until it's touching Sousuke's own leg just slightly, and it's enough of a sign for Sousuke to breathe out a sigh of relief, to move his hand and do what he'd been itching to do minutes ago and tuck Rin's bangs back behind his ear.

 

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

 

Rin nods.

 

"Who was it?"

 

Rin hesitates and then -- "A boy. Just some boy in Australia."

 

"Did you date?"

 

Rin shrugs. "Not really. I just wanted to know what it'd be like."

 

"Was it nice?"

 

Rin makes a face. "It was just a kiss. Lips touching and then not touching anymore. No fireworks or anything like that." He pauses and then, "there were a few more after him. Maybe, like, two. One of them was here. He's graduated already but. Yeah."

 

Sousuke begins drawing his hands through Rin's hair in the way he knows he likes, soothing and continuous. "It's fine, Rin. You were curious. It's normal."

 

"I know that," Rin snaps. He knocks his hand away, annoyed. "I can't believe you waited. You're so dumb."

 

"It wasn't a matter of waiting. I just didn't want to kiss anyone else."

 

"What if I didn't want you?" Rin asks, sounding, despite the scowl he still wears, like he genuinely wants an answer, like he can't think one up himself. 

 

"Then I wouldn't have kissed anyone else probably. It wasn't exactly high on my list of concerns or anything so I wasn't too stressed out about the idea." 

 

Rin is silent a moment, and then, snorting derisively, mumbles, "I've wanted to kiss you since we were kids. It would've been nice to have waited. Symmetrical or something." He laughs tersely and bitterly. "I figured you didn't care about that kinda stuff though. I thought you would've gone all the way by now. Didn't want to wait if you weren't going to."

 

"That's fair. I don't care, Rin. Really."

 

Rin says nothing and in the silence Sousuke can practically hear him screaming,

 

_But **I** do ___

__

__The last thing in this world he ever wanted was Rin to feel anything but joy or triumph, for him to experience regret or agony or sorrow or even something as small as a bad mood. It cuts Sousuke to his core like he can feel it too, a thousand times more painful than anything that could happen to himself, and like it was his personal mission, a divinely-granted purpose in life, he does what he can to alleviate it when it inevitably happens. He scrambles now to act quickly, his body moving on automatic; he couldn't give Rin his first kiss back, that was long gone now, and yet --_ _

__

__"So…so you've been kissed here, huh?" He reaches out a hand, grasps Rin by his chin, drawing his face up so he can kiss him softly against the mouth. Rin sighs into it, and when Sousuke pulls back, he sees his eyes fluttering shut._ _

__

__"It's _so_ nice when you do it," Rin murmurs. _ _

__

__Sousuke laughs, then repeats himself gently, "this is where they did it, yeah?"_ _

__

__"Obviously."_ _

__

__"How about..."_ _

__

__He goes in again, kisses Rin's lips, then slides his own lips over, mouths along his jaw, dragging his mouth along down until he's peppering kisses against the side of his neck as Rin tilts his head back to give him more access. Rin's breathing picks up at this point, Sousuke can feel it against the skin of his throat, and with his mouth still connected, he murmurs, "...here?"_ _

__

__"Mm," Rin drawls. "Yeah, there too."_ _

__

__Sousuke arches an eyebrow, grinning. "Oh? Bold boys."_ _

__

__"Shut up."_ _

__

__"Well, what about here?" He draws back, removing himself completely from the space beneath Rin's jaw, and reaches for one of Rin's hands where it's sitting in his lap. Rin watches him curiously for a moment until Sousuke pulls his hand to himself and presses his lips across the back of his fingers. He keeps his head bowed over his hand like that, then glances up expectantly at Rin, who snorts._ _

__

"None of them were _knights_ or _princes_ or anything, so, no, not there." 

__

__"No?" Sousuke tries to sound as surprise as he can. "Then…" And he turns the hand, presses his mouth to Rin's palm. When he glances up, Rin, smiling still, shakes his head._ _

__

__"No way." He moves to kiss the inside of Rin's wrist and looks up again._ _

__

__"Not there either."_ _

__

__"Seriously? Ridiculous." He gives attention to Rin's arm when he speaks again. "Let me know when I've reached chartered territory again."_ _

__

__With that he gets to work, kissing up the forearm as Rin watches him with an amused smile, and when he gets far enough, he reaches out to tug insistently on Rin's shirt hem, silently requesting removal. Rin chuckles softly, but peels it off all the same, tossing it aside before Sousuke moves back in, pressing several kisses against the skin of his shoulder, open mouthed on the last one enough to bite a mark onto the spot_ _

__

__"Really?" Rin asks, grinning at him._ _

__

__"I like your shoulders a lot," Sousuke says, kissing there again to emphasize the point. "And if no else has done it yet, I claim this land in the name of Yamazaki."_ _

__

__"That is the lamest thing you've ever said."_ _

__

__"I'm not done yet, Rin, don't get ahead of yourself."_ _

__

__Sousuke keeps going, kissing along his collarbone and the little space in between, taking care to leave marks there as well. He eventually eases Rin onto his back against the bed, entwines their fingers, pushing his hands high above his head and leaning down to kiss him against the mouth again_ _

__

__"You already did that spot," Rin reminds him with a laugh. "Chartered territory. Already established."_ _

__

__"I know," Sousuke kisses him again. "It's mine now, though. I like taking care of my assets."_ _

__

"Alright, _that_ was the lamest thing you've ever said." 

__

__Sousuke kisses his mouth several more times before drawing back and wiggling his eyebrows at him. "Told you I wasn't done." Rin snorts and half-heartedly pushes his face away, only for Sousuke to kiss his palm again before moving away._ _

__

__He trails his kisses southward, paying extra attention to Rin's chest, to the hard lines of his stomach, to his belly button and his hip bones. He feels Rin's body arch into the contact when he reaches the latter spot, and he grins against his skin_ _

__

__"Can't believe this is virgin land right here"_ _

__

__"Shut up, god, you're so embarrassing"_ _

__

__"Rin, who were these boys," he mumbles, mouthing his hips again and loving the way Rin reacts to it. "They seriously missed out here."_ _

__

__He spends way too much time nibbling the same spot that he barely registers whats happening until he sees Rin's hands in his peripherals, his thumbs tucking under the waistband of his sweatpants and pushing them down a little, just enough for Sousuke to see the V-shaped dip in his muscles._ _

__

__"No one's been here either," Rin murmurs and when Sousuke glances up at him, he catches him biting his lip around his grin._ _

__

__"I -- " Sousuke sits back on his knees where he's snaked his way between Rin's legs, staring down at Rin arched beneath him. He didn't exactly have a plan for how far he was gonna go, and he certainly didn't expect Rin to remove more than his shirt._ _

__

__"Where's all your witticisms, Mr. Explorer," Rin chides. "Am I too much for you?"_ _

__

__"Possibly," Sousuke says slowly_ _

__

__To this, Rin lifts his hips and pushes his sweatpants down farther, enough to reveal his thighs and his boxer briefs underneath._ _

__

__"Don't just stare," Rin laughs when Sousuke doesn't do anything. "Pick your jaw up off the bed and assist me please."_ _

__

__Sousuke hesitates -- not because he doesn't want to but more because he _does_ want to and is overwhelmed by the suddenness -- but does as he's told, placing his hands over Rin's and easing his fingers to release the material as Sousuke takes the reigns. As Sousuke slowly peels the clothing from his limbs, Rin drags his hands back up his thighs, trailing his nails against the skin of his legs, over his torso, across his chest, until he rests his hands on his pillow right above his head. He stares at Sousuke the entire time, and Sousuke can only sneak soft glances back, too entranced by the body beneath him to look away for too long._ _

__

__Rin is beautiful. Unreasonably beautiful. The words repeat themselves over and over in his head because he can't conceive any other coherent thought right now._ _

__

__"Nobody's been here?" he breathes out finally, his eyes raking every inch of his skin before looking up at Rin in a way he hopes evokes his genuine surprise._ _

__

__He could understand if it was out of respect that no one had made it this far with Rin, that he was simply not interested and nobody ever forced him into it. That was good, he would hope that would be the case. But if Rin were so willing, if he wanted it, like he did now, how in the world could anyone say no to this? How could anyone have second thoughts, unless the very idea of intimacy were reprehensible to begin with. It's beyond Sousuke's scope of understanding, until Rin shrugs, and mutters, "no one's ever been invited," and he remembers why he's made it this far, what he'd set out to do. A smile traces its way across Sousuke's lips, tender, small, and he eases back down, settling between Rin's legs once again. He hears the slight intake of breath from Rin, can feels his eyes on him._ _

__

__Sousuke doesn't touch him right away, merely takes it all in with his eyes, loving the closeness and this new angle to worship Rin with his eyes, admiring the creamy color and the contours of his bones and muscles underneath, the mole he had on his upper thigh, the tiny scar he had on one of his knees. Rin eventually relaxes, Sousuke notices as he hears his breathing evening, and thats when he moves, pushes his mouth against the skin at the curve of his kneecap, and kisses gently._ _

__

__He keeps his mouth there, spares a look in Rin's direction. Rin is staring down at him with wide pupils and half-lidded eyes, rapt attention and anticipation loudly evident. He's gnawing at his knuckle with one sharp canine, and when Sousuke's gaze lingers a little too long, he nods his head along insistently, urging him to continue._ _

__

__So Sousuke does, pressing kiss after kiss in a gradual trail against the expansive surface of his skin, savoring each bit of contact like he wants to memorize him.  Between kisses, he whispers over and over, with his lips hovering so close to Rin's legs that when his lips form the words, "beautiful" and "wonderful" and "amazing" and "mine," "mine," "mine," Rin can feel it, feel every slight movement of his mouth._ _

__

__The kisses become sloppier, more needy and with more teeth and tongue, the nearer he gets to his inner thigh, and it's right then that he discovers just how sensitive Rin can be. He's got a hand against Rin's leg on the other side, pushing it closer to his mouth as he gets greedier with his love bites, and Rin is whining, a chorus of interesting and lovely little noises trailing out. He can feel Rin's other thigh squeezing gently against the back of his head and out of the corner of his eye, he can see his growing arousal at the front of his briefs. It's hot as all hell, but Sousuke almost laughs at how badly Rin is reacting to this._ _

__

__It's while he's consuming him in with his eyes and relishing in sounds he'd never heard from Rin before that a thought occurs to him suddenly, a realization that he's the only one who's been here, that he's the only one to have witnessed this, to have heard these things and drunk in these reactions, and it's enough for him to take pause, to still his movements. Rin doesn't like that, as he makes very clear when he nudges his heel along Sousuke's shoulder blade when the hesitation lasts a bit too long, and then Sousuke really does laugh._ _

__

__"You think it's funny, you goddamn tease," Rin snaps, and when Sousuke glances at him, he sees he's thrown an arm over his eyes and is glaring down at him beneath it._ _

__

__"You're just really cute, is all. So demanding."_ _

__

__"Ugh."_ _

__

__Sousuke grins devilishly against Rin's thigh, turns his head completely and rests against his leg to stare up at him. Rin is still glaring, but he's blushing fiercely as well, and when Sousuke's gaze lingers, he groans in irritation and shields his face again, the color trailing lower and lower as his whole body warms in embarrassment._ _

__

__No one else has done this, Sousuke thinks again and again, no one's made him this flustered, no one has memorized the topography of his entire body with their mouth, no one has loved him this much and explored so much of him, and suddenly the miraculousness of something like the first climb to the top of Mount Everest or the first the moon landing makes sense to him. He'd gone into this to prove something to Rin, that he could one-up a first kiss, that he could make him anticipate something far more intimate, enough to make those others boys forgettable, enough to make everything new again, but it seems to have backfired on him too._ _

__

__It's enough to make him want to kiss him all over again, spend longer seconds on each spot and become all too familiar with his warmth and his angles and his sensitive spots, with the joints of his bones and the rhythm of his pulse and the extra soft patches of skin behind his knees or inside his elbows, enough that he could recreate him with his eyes closed._ _

__

The knowledge that he _could_ though, that he was at liberty to explore again and again if he wanted to, and had all the time to -- 

__

__It's like falling in love for the first time all over again._ _

__

__"Oi," Rin grunts, stirring him from his reverie. "Are you alive down there?"_ _

__

__Sousuke will tell him all this probably, one day maybe, probably not when he was starting to get impatient. He's too cute when he's grumpy, though, and Sousuke can't resist teasing him just a little more. He feigns a look of sudden realization, as if a thought just occurred to him, and he taps his fingers against Rin's leg, insistently and contemplatively._ _

__

__"You know what," he says. "I missed a spot."_ _

__

__"No shit," Rin snaps._ _

__

__"Not you," Sousuke murmurs, drawing his eyes down and addressing the obvious hardness straining against the front of Rin's briefs. In a daring moment of spontaneity, he kisses him there, three slow little kisses in a line trailing up his length, enough for Rin to hiss and buck his hips just slightly, and then he sits back. Rin's face contorts in desperation and irritation and he's likely about to yell, but then Sousuke's hooks a hand under his calf, hoists it to balance his heel on his left shoulder. Rin is momentarily confused until Sousuke kisses the inside of his ankle, and then he rolls his eyes_ _

__

__"Still at it, huh."_ _

__

__"Rin, if I don't do it, someone else might." he says, pressing his mouth there a second time. "How embarrassing would it be to have been your fourth kiss on the mouth, your first kiss everywhere else, and then have someone else steal first kiss to the ankle."_ _

__

"You're being ridiculous," Rin begins, sounding obviously desperate for Sousuke to touch him in the way he wants him to and saying whatever is necessary to move things along. "I get it, okay, I get it, you're with me now and that's all that matters, your point has been proven, you don't have to claim dibs on everything -- _Sousuke!_ "  

__

__Amid Rin's rambling, Sousuke has trailed his kisses further from the ankle to the side of his foot, to the tips of his toes, until he's bent Rin's legs back ever so slightly and dragged his mouth under the arch of his heel, using a bit of teeth for good measure. Rin screeches his name in a wild laugh, kicking at him involuntarily, but Sousuke has a good grip on his foot now and kisses him there again._ _

__

" _S-stop, Sousuke, you ass!_ " 

__

"So if you've yet to have been kissed _here_ , does that mean no one knows how ticklish you are yet?" 

__

" _S-SOUSUKE, seriously -- p-please -- oh my god -- !_ " His words mingle in his laughter, his leg kicking crazily until he's nudged Sousuke away by the cheek. Sousuke chuckles as Rin's laugh begins to subside, and then he swoops down over him, holds his arms back by the hands and starts trailing nibbling kisses along his sides. 

__

"I missed here, too," he mumbles against his skin, all amid the screeching laugh that Rin belts again. He feels Rin's hands in his hair, tugging at him insistently and pushing him away at the same time, feels his body shuddering against him in his giggles, and it's only when Rin chokes out a giggly, " _Sousuke! Enough, you j-jerk! PLEASE_ ," that he stops, draws himself up against Rin and meets him at his mouth again, kissing him even as the last of his giggles make their way through. 

__

__Rin lets him kiss him for a second longer before smacking him against the back of the head, enough for Sousuke to pull back and grin down at him._ _

__

__"Sorry. I had to."_ _

__

__"You did not HAVE to," Rin growls, pouting at him. "At least touch me now, yeah? The least you could goddamn do."_ _

__

__Sousuke laughs against his mouth, kisses him again, wiggles a hand between their bodies and cups Rin deftly. They kiss as he rubs him through his boxers, Rin whining and grinding along with him, and then he places his mouth against his ear, smiles and mumbles, "one small step for man -- "_ _

__

__"Really? You're going to make me come to that?" he bites through his moans. "Your dirty talk needs some serious work."_ _

__

__"Every first expedition to unchartered territory has some kind of memorable quote to go along with it, Rin, don't you know anything."_ _

__

__"F-fuck," Rin breathes, barely able to focus on his words. "That's already been used, you fuckin' moron..."_ _

__

__"I'm not exactly the most creative guy, so sue me." Sousuke tightens his grip and increases the urgency of his movements, and Rin arches high enough off the bed that his hand is sandwiched almost painfully between their two bodies._ _

__

__"How about this -- "_ _

__

"Why are you still _talking_ , holy shit."  

__

"I'm a multi-tasker," Sousuke says with a grin. "So how about this." He kisses the shell of Rin's ear. "You're beautiful, Rin, _so_ beautiful, and I don't care if I wasn't your first kiss, because I want to be your first everything else." He's rutting against him too, because it's impossible to have Rin writhing around in his hand and not react to it too, "I'm yours, okay, always have been, always will be. Yours, yours, _yours_." Rin's panting and whimpering is getting louder, his grinding more frantic, and his hands are gripping tight around the material of his shirt. Sousuke's head is swirling and he kisses him hard against his mouth, hears the hum of his moan as he comes in his hand seconds later. Sousuke is not far behind, tearing away from the kiss to pant against his throat and groan at his own release where he's been rubbing against his thigh. 

__

__He rolls over almost instantly, his back falling against the mattress beside Rin. They're both breathing heavily, their chests rising up and down as they blink wearily up at the bottom of Sousuke's bunk above them. Sousuke's hand wiggles around on the bed between them, seeking Rin's and lacing their hands when he finds it. He pulls it toward him, pushing his mouth against his fingers, and then draws it to his chest._ _

__

__"Can't believe you tried to quote Neil Armstrong in my ear while you had your hand on my penis," Rin mutters scathingly, lazily smacking him on the arm with his other hand._ _

__

__"Would've been funny if you came right then -- "_ _

__

"It would _not_."  

__

__"Who needs porn when you have YouTube videos of the moon landing, am I right?"_ _

__

__"NO."_ _

__

__Sousuke laughs loudly and fondly, turns to press his nose against the side of Rin's face. Rin tries to half-heartedly push him away, but Sousuke nudges back against him and he gives up, lets him place another kiss there against his cheek._ _

__

__Sousuke opens his mouth after a bout of silence, to which Rin immediately mumbles, "don't say anything stupid for once, please, you unfunny bastard."_ _

__

__"Hey, I wasn't this time. I swear."_ _

__

__"Alright, continue."_ _

__

__"I just…" He nuzzles his nose against Rin's cheek, all shy and nervous all of a sudden, before murmuring gently, "I meant the other stuff I said too, though." A pause. "Everything I've said to you today."_ _

__

__Rin breathes out deeply then turns against the pillow, pushes his forehead against Sousuke's_ _

__

__"Yeah, I know."_ _

__

__They lay like that for a few minutes longer before Rin vocalizes how gross he feels and discards his last bit of clothing. He urges Sousuke to do the same, but when Sousuke is too lazy to move right away, Rin, grumbling to himself, takes the initiative. Sousuke lounges by, watching with a crooked grin while Rin struggles to strip him bare, and when Rin has trouble tugging a pant leg off his foot, he can't help but laugh. Rin responds by biting him, and it's only then that he helps with the rest._ _

__

__When they're both naked, Rin cuddles up against Sousuke's chest, drawing the disheveled bed sheets around them and shivering closer to Sousuke's body heat. He hums contentedly, easing his eyes shut and feeling his body give way to fatigue._ _

__

__"Sousuke," he murmurs sleepily. When Sousuke grunts drowsily in response, he knows he's close to dozing off too. "Thanks for waiting for me."_ _

__

__"Mm." He feels Sousuke's hand card through his hair before he just leaves it there. "You too."_ _


End file.
